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About Me Member Deviously Deviant Jess19/Female/Australia Recent Activity Deviant for 2 Years
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Journal 21.39 - Call me crazy...

Mon Nov 23, 2009, 2:50 AM
So, me and my ex will be going out again. *sigh* i know right. totally stupid. this will be attempt #5, with only 1 of the previous attempts actually turning into dating.

But seriously? i don't care. somehow i always knew that things were never quite finished between us. so, on december 21 (yes, that is my birthday, so i'm kinda scared that if we break up my birthday is gonna be el-lamo from now on) we will be going out again.

don't tell me i'm stupid, i already know. but the truth is, he's amazing. even in the 2 years and a bit that i have known him, there's always been something that keeps bringing me back to him. not just the heart racing or the constant inability to think or the desperate attempts not to act like an idiot in front of him... there's something else that i'm not really sure i can put my finger on, just yet.

we still have a lot of work ahead of us. he's only recently come back to church and rediscovering what Christ did for him (which i have been praying about ever since i met him... i guess i really have witnessed a miracle because he's living proof that no matter how far you stray, just like that, Christ can bring you back again). but he said that he wants me with him on that journey, and i can't ask for anything more than that. i've grown up and learned so much since high school. he makes me want to change who i am, but also that i'm loved for exactly who i am right now. he's inspired me in so many ways in the past, and i'm kind of looking forward to being in a relationship again.

yes okay so it's still a whole month before we're actually gonna go out... he was going to ask me out today because it is his birthday, but i said i didnt wanna be asked out via sms :P yes! i didn't give in :) so we are waiting, and we'll see what God has in store for us.

on the flip side, however, i'm kind of petrified of being in a relationship again. (yes, i realise i just said i was looking forward to it). i just would like to not get carried away. i don't want to change so that i can be who he wants. i will keep my friends and do all the same things that i do now. but i think that over time, we eventually all take on little pieces of our partners, whether we realise it or not.


that's where i'm at, atm, and i'm praying God will bring me ever closer to him in the mean time.

hope everyone is well, i wish i could see you all in one place! that would be awesome :D

love,
Jess

  • Mood: Peaceful
  • Listening to: my beautiful mac keys typing
  • Reading: the only Book I'll ever need
  • Watching: the cursor blink
  • Playing: hard to get
  • Eating: your face
  • Drinking: till the cows come home?

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Devious Info

  • Current Residence: Australia Baby!!
  • Favourite band or musician: Too Many to Choose!!!
  • Favourite poet or writer: Frank E. Peretti
  • Favourite style of art: Fractals
  • Operating System: MacOSX
  • MP3 player of choice: iPod
  • Wallpaper of choice: My camera!!
  • Favourite gaming platform: Yay for the ORIGINAL Playstation :)

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Comments


:iconftanng:
YOU'VE BEEN HUGGED

Spread the DA love around! (you can copy and paste this message on their userpage!)

RULES:
1- You can hug the person who hugged you!
2- You -MUST- hug 6 other people, at least!
3- You should hug them in public! Paste it on their user page!
4- Random hugs are perfectly okay! (and sweet)
5- You should most definitely get started hugging right away!

Send This To All Your Friends, And Me If I Am 1.
If You Get 7 Back You Are Loved!

1-3 you're a bad friend
4-6 you're an ok friend
7-9 you're a good friend
10-& Up you're a great friend

(Even if you don't get 10, you're still a great friend. ^_^)
:iconragnarakk:
i dont usually hug.. but fuck it.. XD

YOU'VE BEEN HUGGED

Spread the DA love around! (you can copy and paste this message on their userpage!)

RULES:
1- You can hug the person who hugged you!
2- You -MUST- hug 6 other people, at least!
3- You should hug them in public! Paste it on their user page!
4- Random hugs are perfectly okay! (and sweet)
5- You should most definitely get started hugging right away!

Send This To All Your Friends, And Me If I Am 1.
If You Get 7 Back You Are Loved!

1-3 you're a bad friend
4-6 you're an ok friend
7-9 you're a good friend
10-& Up you're a great friend

--
"I have visited a thousand worlds yet I still search for a place to call home"

Are you against the stereotypes of evil Dragons? Join us! [link]
:iconcityonahill:
haha so far i'm a bad friend i only got two :P

--
"...Neither can a city on a hill be hidden."

"Unrequited love -
A cliche to be used; not lived."
~Taliionis

*RawEm0tion~Lex-Writers
:iconragnarakk:
lolol it doesnt matter.. you're still loved XD

--
"I have visited a thousand worlds yet I still search for a place to call home"

Are you against the stereotypes of evil Dragons? Join us! [link]
:iconfoxshock55:
thanks for the fave :)

--
its gunna happen and its
supposed to happen
and we find the reasons why,
one step at a time..


\m/ (^.^) \m/
rock on.

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